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St. Agnes Catholic Girls School erupts into scandal after three fourth graders are caught reading a book about “S - E - X.” This comedic coming-of-age tale follows the aftermath as it ravages friendships, careers, and grades K-12. 

Transcripts: Episode 1


Kara is a nine-year-old who thinks she’s nineteen. She already knows everything about everything ‘cause her older sister told her it all. She's abrasive, proud, and incredibly lonely. In that way, she kind of is like a nineteen-year-old.


Sam has seven siblings, five dogs, two gerbils, and a colony of stray cats that she’s claimed as her own. She talks louder and more often than all of them, but she never really feels like anyone’s listening. Easily bossed around and extremely conflict-averse, she spends her elementary school years struggling to make peace between her constantly warring friends.


Brandi leads the school newspaper with grace, intelligence, and an unwavering dedication to investigative journalism that would be more appropriate for a job at the Washington Post. She’s good at everything, except maybe, probably, she’s not so good at listening to other people (especially Jordan). Her PSAT scores were the highest in the state last year, but it’s her rebellious streak that makes her interesting.


Every queer teen who ever spent their time on Tumblr. Jordan likes to hide from their real trauma by fighting about, like, whether horoscopes are a valid form of self care or not. (Jordan thinks they are, for the record). Their greatest weakness is their inability to listen to others (especially Brandi), and their greatest strength is their desire to fight on behalf of everyone (even Brandi).


Kiiiiind of a bad person, but, like, not on purpose? Caroline is a high school freshman who’s still convinced that high school should work like a Disney Channel Original Movie (DCOM). Hers is called “The Pen Is Mightier than the Principal,” and she plays the popular pretty girl AND the rebellious student journalist / wallflower who gets the guy at the end. She’s still waiting for the rest of the school to get their scripts.


Went to grad school to avoid getting a job. Got a job because she couldn't afford to go back to grad school. Her life looks great on paper, but she can’t find the paper because her apartment is a mess, and she’s fighting with her girlfriend, and she hates her new job as librarian of St. Agnes’ Catholic Girls School. Still wants to save the world.


Moralistic, firm, authoritative. She has her reasons for doing things the way she does, but she doesn't feel the need to share those reasons with her students. Keeps a secret fridge of Diet Dr. Pepper in her office.